well, it would be our first anniversary on 5 December 2011 if we still together.. at the same time, the day is 9 muharam, sesiapa yg berpuasa pada hari itu Allah akan mengampuni dosanya setahun yg lalu.. everynite and everyday i never forget about him. disebabkan keesokannya aq akan berpuasa aq pon msj la tanya dia, dia puasa ke tak *tengok betapa tak malunya aq msj dia dulu :(. then we text-ing sampai pkol 12 dah nak tido.. tak lama lepas tu baru teringat, today would be our first anniversary and i text him again wish him happy anniversary *once again aq buat muka tak malu. tp dia tak balas sebab dah tido.. keesokan harinya, lepas dia habes kelas rasanya dalam pkol 4.30 he replied my text. dia cakap, "hmm sepatutnya macam tu lah harini. tp takpe awak, kalau jodoh tak kemana" and i cried.. i replied his text and till now he never replied. hmmm.. i wonder if he thinks about me like i never forget him since the day he left.. my mom said maybe someday he would come back, maybe he left because he doesnt want to disturb me yg nak amik SPM ni. i pray what my mom said will come true but i bet i would never happen.. i go to his fb's profile today, look at those pictures and i go to the wall photos and at the right side of the desktop screen written who in this album i saw a girl fb.. the only girl.. i knew MSAHF likes her.. once i asked him is it true that he has new gf? and he mentioned that girl's name.. shes pretty, a lot prettier than me and she is more alim than me. maybe she suits him the best. my prayer came true.. but i just cant let him go. kdg2 rasa diri ni bodoh sangat. aq tahu dia dah tak suka aq ,dia buang aq, dia suka orang lain tp aq pergi kejar jugak orang yg dah buang aq jauh2.. ada ke orang dah buang sesuatu benda tu dia nak kutip balik kan? ibarat orang dah meludah. adakah dia akan jilat balik ludak tu? tak kan. well, i HAVE to learn to let him go. but whenever i tried i just cant.. wherever i sit, wherever i go, whatever i do, everything reminds me of him.. sometimes i wish i would be in an accident and loss all the memories about him. hmm.. maybe he would be the last. eh no! maybe second last because the last would be my husband. hmm.. all i need to do is just pray to Allah because he knows the best.